I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
