What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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