I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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