And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
