youre lurking in front of me
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
