In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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