Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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