She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
