I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
