how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
