it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
