My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
