I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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