Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
