Already got asked if we're dating
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
