I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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