i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
