does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
