He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Farmville is her only friend.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
