8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
