I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
