hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You pole danced in your parka.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
