I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
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I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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