worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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