We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
