She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
