For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
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Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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