I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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