Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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