Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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