the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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