Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Screwed.edu
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
