At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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