I cannot find my penis.
This girl is more easily done than said...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize