No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
