I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
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Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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