ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need to wash the frat house off of me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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