TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize