maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
