his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I would fuck him just for his dog
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
