Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
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First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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