she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
