weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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