I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
