just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
