I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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