You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize