No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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