Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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