matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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