I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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