ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm like, not good at living.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
