how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
jump out the window naked night went bad
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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