i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
