I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize